changes

i was recently asked a very interesting question that got me thinking.

the question was: if you could change anything about yourself,

what would you change?

at first thought, i came up with a running list; as one might expect.

but then i got to thinking...

of that list, the majority (if not all) of them i can change.

i have the ability to change.

i just don't pursue them far enough.

if i really wanted to change them, i would make it happen.

if i could really change anything about myself,

i'd like it to be something i don't have the ability to change myself.

my off-the-top-of-my-head list is:

*i'd like to be able to forgive AND forget.

i've gotten good at forgiveness, but i struggle to forget.

and this is particularly aimed at myself

(is that what regret is?)

**i'd like a better social ability.

being able to learn new things, especially from people who are passionate about something, is something i greatly enjoy. but it's hard to pull that kind of info from someone without good oral communication. sure, i talk to people and i'm not afraid of it, i just need some better skills (cue: gina?)

***I'd like to not be so fearful/afraid/worrisome.

the ability to let go, to just do/live.

to not be afraid of who i think i really am.

to push through and not worry about it.

****i'd like a higher metabolism.

here it is; the typical "girl" response about changing her body.

but it's there.

i love to eat....

that's what i came up with, without putting too much thought into it.

but really, who says i can't change these things?

can't take steps to change these about myself?

wouldn't it be great to be able to say:

i don't what to change anything about myself?

new goal found!

new job

al started is new job in april as a deputy!

it's pretty exciting and nerve wracking.

i typically like cop's uniforms

and a man in uniform :)

so i made him let me take some pictures.

it's been interesting seeing and feeling all the aspects

of his uniform, especially his belt.

it's gotta weigh a good 20+ lbs.

i can't imagine walking around with that

plus a big bulletproof vest every day.

he's liking the job

and he's ready to be done with field training

and out on his own.

hopefully that will be end of june-ish.

the schedule's been hectic and strange to deal with

and he's completely beat when he gets home,

but we're hopeful that once he (we've) gotten into a groove,

it'll be easier all around.

 i am unsure what the rules are for posting uniform pictures

(if there are any) and i don't want to jeopardize anything

or create any situations

so i left out the details of his location...

 i love the stripes on the pants :)

rumer has it, he gets a stetson (hat) too

but he doesn't have it yet.

i'm secretly hoping it's like the ones from super troopers :)

the north shore

last weekend, mom and i went up to good ol' silver bay to visit grama.

it was a short, but good trip.

here are some highlights of the trip:

-my 94 year old grama almost skunking me in cribbage

-mom's need to "relocate" some more lake superior rocks to her yard :)

-grama saying she liked my outfit and "didn't know" about moms

-visiting grandpa's grave; almost 20 years now :(

-going to the smallest sock hop but having fun anyway (at apollo)

-grama wanting to "goof off" as usual

-the beautiful scenic drive; the flowers are just coming out up there

i love silver bay!!!

turning 3 :: ty

may 7th marks the 3rd birthday of the twins that occupy a large part of my heart.

i can't believe they're going to be 3 already!!

it seems like not that long ago they were dependent, needy, adorable

little babies that i nannied.

to commemorate their birthday i thought i'd take a look back

at them over the 3 years. :)

up next is ty

born: may 2009

2 months old

3 months old

5 months

8 months

1 year old!!

16 months; start of the baby mullet :)

22 months; kitty ty.

2 years old!!

2 years, 3 months

2.5 years; ring bearer at our wedding

and yesterday, less than 2 weeks from being 3!

ty was a little crabby and uncooperative at the start;

this is his sad face.

there's a little smile from mama's boy

so cute in his jeans and carhart jacket!

cute smile with his 2 fingers in his mouth :)

blurry, but it's the only one i got of his real smile

hello big blue eyes :]

you can kind of see his vampire teeth in this one :)



my adorable, quiet, easy going, all boy ty,

you are finally starting to talk understandably and in sentences,

that is when you can be heard over your sisters. :)

you have the biggest bluest eyes framed by thee longest lashes.

you're usually pretty relaxed and easy going

but you also like to have fun and get some attention once in a while.

you don't like me to hold you or cuddle much any more

but you do love your mama!

you are all boy: you love trucks, balls,

and will only wear jeans (just like your dad).

you are sneaky, you like to hide,

and when you think you're funny

you shrug your shoulders up and smile so cute!!

i enjoy every bit of time i get to spend with you!

i love you ty ty!!

turning 3 :: skye

may 7th marks the 3rd birthday of the twins that occupy a large part of my heart.

i can't believe they're going to be 3 already!!

it seems like not that long ago they were dependent, needy, adorable

little babies that i nannied.

to commemorate their birthday i thought i'd take a look back

at them over the 3 years. :)

in no particular order, first up is skye

 born: may 7th 2009

 3 months old

 4 months

 5 months: cute chunky monkey :)

 8 months

 1 year old!!

 16 months

 23 months old: hair long enough for piggys :)

 2 years old!!

 2 years 3 months

 2.5 years; flower girl at our wedding :]

and now here she is, less than 2 weeks from being 3.

my lovely, cute, spunky, loud monkey:

you continue to get cuter, even when i think it's not possible.

you are almost always willing to play

yet you love to cuddle, sit on laps and be held.

you talk so well and you talk often. :)

you are very good at making sure you are heard

and you like doing things yourself.

you're a perfect mix of independence and dependence,

girly and tomboy, fun and serious ("buh-nessa stop") :]

you're so smart (today you told me that ducks have wings and we do not.)

you still have those cute vampire teeth i adore,

your hair still has the cute baby curls in it,

and you still love your brown and pink cowgirl boots

(i can't believe those things still fit you!).

you have endless amounts of energy, love to laugh,

and are addicted to your nook (not the e-reader ;)).

i greatly enjoy every bit of time i get to spend with you.

i love you monkey!!



birthday boy

happy birthday to my wonderful husband!

a guy who makes my whole life possible

who constantly makes me smile & laugh

who keeps me on my toes

who challenges me

and loves me no matter what!

to a guy who finds the first surprise birthday card i hid for him and opens it,
then finds the 2nd one and opens that too even before it's his birthday... :)

a handsome guy with biceps as big as softballs :}

a guy who hardly ever smiles normal for a picture :]
i love you al!!

photo credit to leah maria photography